How to Show Up When Social Situations Feel Hard
Yesterday I walked into a party for friends. People I genuinely care about. People who care about me. And still, I froze. I stuck with the folks I already knew, smiled, kept the conversations safe, and quietly avoided the tight clusters already formed around the room.
In my head, the usual thoughts showed up. Everyone already knows each other. They grew up together. They’ve known each other forever. What would I even say that didn’t sound forced or make me feel like I was interrupting?
Then came the louder thought: How can you help people with this when you can’t even do it right now?
That’s the truth of it. Social awkwardness doesn’t go away just because you know how relationships work. And social anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken or bad at people. It usually means you care. You want to connect in a way that feels real. You want to be received well. You want to belong.
And in moments like this, we forget something important. Most people in the room are feeling the same thing. They’re not standing in groups because they’re closed off or unkind. They’re standing in groups because it’s safer than standing alone. We assume people are unapproachable when in reality, they’re just waiting for someone else to go first.
That time, I didn’t make the first move. I stayed in my comfort zone. But the host introduced me to someone new, and that small moment shifted everything. I didn’t have to perform. I didn’t have to be impressive. I just had to be present and say hello.
And it made me think, how many events, parties, and rooms are we walking into that unintentionally make people feel like outsiders? Most spaces don’t encourage connection. They expect it to happen on its own. But connection is something we can design for.
We can build in moments that lower the pressure and help people find each other more easily. A thoughtful icebreaker that isn’t cheesy. An intentional mix of introductions. Even small visual cues or name tags with prompts like “Ask me about…” can give people an easier way in. When we do that, we stop putting the full weight of connection on the individual and start making it something we build together.
So here’s one small step you can try next time you’re walking into a room that feels uncertain. Prepare a simple, open-ended question you actually want to ask. Nothing too deep. Nothing that feels like a job interview. Just something human.
Try:
“What brought you here tonight?”
“Do you know a lot of people here already?”
“Have you been to one of these before?”
Simple curiosity is enough.
Awkwardness doesn’t mean you’re not built for connection. It just means you might need a little more structure, a little more permission, or a little more practice. We all do.
And when you start to think of connection as something you can shape, not something you have to be born with, it changes everything.
Let’s Keep Building Together
If this post spoke to you, imagine what could happen when you start growing your world with intentional connection. Whether you want to deepen your relationships, create new opportunities, or simply feel more supported, I’m here to help.
Ready to build stronger, more meaningful connections?
Whether you want to deepen your personal relationships or grow your professional network, my coaching helps you create intentional, confident connections that open doors and enrich your life. Explore Coaching Options
Or, if you’re just getting started, grab my free People-Powered Progress Pack, a workbook filled with tools and exercises to help you map your network, spark meaningful conversations, and expand your support system. Get the Free Pack
Let’s turn connection into progress together.
