Coasting
Yesterday I attended the grand opening of a brand new restaurant. The owner is someone we know and wanted to support. It’s a small place tucked in the back of a little strip mall, not really anywhere trendy or happening. In fact, it's a place that seems, at first glance, unremarkable. But the story of how that day, that celebration came to be, is rather extraordinary. Less than 15 years ago, the owner of this restaurant lived in a place with no running water. He will regale you with stories of how his family had to go to the bathroom in the woods. The series of decisions he and his family made to get to today is a lesson in more. Believing in more, trusting there was more out there, knowing they had to at least try to get to more.
His story stands out to me because not a lot of people go after more. A lot of us coast. Coasting is to “proceed without effort”, doing less than you are capable of. You are coasting when you have “stopped working hard and are instead getting by without doing much, perhaps relying on past efforts or taking advantage of the work of others”. You’ve gotten to a certain point in your life and you look around and think, “is this all there is?” When you secretly wish for more while simultaneously feeling guilty for not being grateful for what you have.
Coasting feels like you are not living into your full potential, you are not giving it your all. You feel stuck in a repetitive loop, a monotonous Groundhog Day life. You are disconnected from yourself, your family, your friends. Your life is devoid of richness and you have no passion for anything. This dissatisfaction can lead to anxiety, depression and a pervasive sense of emptiness.
When you think about not coasting, though, you think “I am already maxed out. I cannot possibly do anything more.” You say words like exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed out. You think changing anything is just too hard and it’s not worth the effort. You don’t have the time and you wouldn’t know where to start anyway. But, what if, maybe, just maybe, you are not actually burnt out? What if you’re bored? Bored by the thoughts that run through your head in a repetitive loop, bored by the stories you tell yourself everyday, bored with the limits you put on yourself?
When we were little and we whined that we were bored, what was the most likely response of the adults in the room? Go find something to do! Right? Maybe you don’t want just an OK life. You want to feel engaged, vibrant, ALIVE. You don’t want to be bored. I’m going to make a suggestion: go find something to do. You don’t need your life’s purpose figured out. You don’t need SMART goals. You can get to all that later. Living is in the everyday actions. It’s in the DECIDING. Make a list of activities you’d like to try that would change your current routine. And do one. That’s it. That’s how you go from a toilet in the trees to owning a restaurant. Make a decision that you want more and try new things.
Are you tired of your own excuses? Are you afraid to want more? Do you know there’s something more out there?
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