Remembering How to Talk With Each Other
Today, I’m thinking about how hard it’s become for people to actually talk with one another.
Not just texting. Not emailing. Not commenting on a post or forwarding a funny reel. I’m talking about the kind of back-and-forth where people bring curiosity to the conversation. The kind where there’s space for disagreement, laughter, clarification, nuance. Where we let the other person finish their thought. Where we stay at the table even if the topic’s uncomfortable. Where we let ourselves be changed. Somewhere along the way, we got out of practice.
Sometimes I catch myself going on autopilot: head down, thoughts racing, moving through my day like there’s no time to spare. And then something will jolt me back. A moment with a cashier or a barista, where I look up and remember: this is a person. Not just someone doing a job, not just part of the transaction, but a whole human with a whole story standing right in front of me.
And when I let myself step out of the rote script, "How are you?" "Good, you?", and ask a real question, something shifts. Even a 30-second exchange can feel like an actual conversation. A flicker of humanity, the feeling of being connected again.
People say they miss “simpler times,” but I think what they’re really missing is feeling seen. Feeling heard. Being acknowledged just for existing, not for what we do, not for saying the right thing, not for having the cleverest take. Just… for being human.
We want to know we matter. And somewhere deep down, we know that kind of mattering happens in conversation. In the exchange. In the moments when someone listens with curiosity instead of judgment. When someone remembers our name. When someone pauses to say, “Tell me more.”
These small, everyday moments might seem insignificant, but they’re actually where relationship wealth begins. That kind of back-and-forth, simple, low-stakes, human, is a muscle. A skill. Every time we choose to engage, to get curious, to go one layer deeper than the script, we’re practicing.
We’re building the foundation that bigger, harder conversations rely on. The reps we do with the barista or the neighbor or the new coworker? They make it easier to speak up when it really matters. To hold tension. To stay open. To be brave and tender at the same time.
Social capital isn’t just built on big networking moves or bold introductions. It grows in these small, consistent exchanges. This is the work that makes the rest possible.When we don’t talk with each other, we lose more than we think.
Personally, we lose those small, surprising moments of being human. We miss the chance to learn something new, to shift our perspective, to feel the warmth of being acknowledged by another person. We lose something elemental, something that reminds us we’re alive, here, now, sharing this moment on this planet together.
And collectively? We lose the ability to work through hard things. To bridge differences. To solve problems in ways that actually move us forward. Conversation is the glue of collaboration. If we can’t talk with each other, we can’t create anything better, at home, in our workplaces, in our communities, in the world.
So here’s your invitation:
Ask the next person you see, “How’s your day?” And then really stop to listen.
If they say “good,” follow up: “Yeah? What made it good?”
Let it be awkward if it’s awkward. Let it be brief if it needs to be. But show up with just a little more curiosity than usual. Let someone feel seen. Let yourself be surprised.
We haven’t lost the ability to talk with each other.
We’ve just stopped reaching for it. And that’s something we can change, starting now.
Let’s Keep Building Together
If this post spoke to you, imagine what could happen when you start growing your world with intentional connection. Whether you want to deepen your relationships, create new opportunities, or simply feel more supported, I’m here to help.
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