A Better Question Than “What’s Next?”
We’re taught to ask ourselves, what’s next?, especially when something ends, shifts, or leaves us feeling uncertain. It’s the question that’s supposed to keep us moving. But over time, I’ve come to realize that “what’s next?” can sometimes create more pressure than clarity.
It implies there’s a right answer waiting. An answer that’s decisive, productive, measurable. And if we don’t know what it is yet, it can make us feel like we’re behind or doing something wrong.
I’ve seen this in my clients, and I’ve felt it myself: that anxious energy of needing to figure it all out. The need to get it right and not waste time. But the truth is, sometimes “what’s next?” isn’t the question that moves us forward, it’s the one that keeps us frozen.
It’s in the practiced spiel a high school senior gives when asked what they’re doing after graduation. You can see it in the first time parents, meticulously prepared for what they think is coming. The person approaching retirement who tells you they’re finally going to travel when they have actually given no thought to what their days will look like when not filled with the requirements of a job.
Times like these can often benefit from asking different questions. Softer ones. Ones that don’t demand an immediate answer but invite you to pay attention.
Questions like:
What’s pulling at me lately?
What feels meaningful right now?
What would feel like relief?
What am I curious about, even if I don’t know why yet?
These aren’t questions that lead to five-year plans. They’re questions that reconnect you with yourself. And more often than not, they lead to quieter truths. The kind of insights that don’t scream, but still carry weight.
And maybe most importantly, they help you make choices you feel proud of. Not proud in a performative way, but in a personal, grounded way. Proud because you took the time to listen. Proud because you chose what felt honest instead of what looked impressive. Proud because you let yourself move at the pace of clarity, not urgency.
In my coaching conversations, when someone says, “I don’t know what’s next,” I don’t rush to help them figure it out. I ask what they’re noticing. What keeps showing up. What’s been quietly waiting for their attention. There’s wisdom in those questions. There’s momentum, too.
Because the truth is, we’re not always meant to know what’s next. Sometimes we’re meant to ask better questions. Ones that pull us inward before we leap outward.
If “what’s next?” is helping you move forward, that’s great—use it. But if it’s making you feel like you should have something figured out by now, you have permission to pause.
You have permission to ask something else. Something that doesn’t demand a plan, but instead invites a little more presence.
What matters to me right now?
What do I want to feel more of?
What would I be proud of today, even if no one else saw it?
These are the questions that lead to clarity. And they might lead to what’s next, too but without all the pressure.
You’re not behind. You’re becoming. And that unfolding deserves more than a deadline. It deserves your attention, your honesty, and a little space to breathe.
